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ROUTE NUMBER 11: ARGENTINA, ANGELS & ALCOHOL
On the back of a bad break-up, the beat-up tourist suddenly finds himself all alone in Argentina with only an abundance of beer for company.
With no plans, no time limit and sometimes no sense, the nameless British beatnik travels through a blur of smoky bars, sexy señoritas, lonesome backpackers, small town locals, city dwellers, magnificent mountains and awe-inspiring waterfalls, whilst being guided by the mysterious 11:11 Phenomenon.
Not only does the tourist roam around Argentina, he also finds himself unexpectedly crossing the borders to Paraguay, Chile and Brazil, where drunken adventures and spiritual insights await him.
Set in 2011, this true story reads almost like fiction. Written in a unique and distinctive style and told in a tangle of cut-up twisted timelines, Route Number 11 is a beat-driven, beer-drinking, drug-taking, chica-chasing, soul-searching, backpacking bonanza of a book which, if nothing else, will make you never want to experience the awfulness of reggaeton music.
When stress-headed Mad Harry spontaneously books a flight for Egypt, he doesn't know he's about to embark on a mad-as-fuck pot-smoking pilgrimage of adventure.
In fact, he's not even sure why he's going, or what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is he's got to get away.
Guided by signs in numbers, names and otherworldly encounters, Mad Harry's trip often seems to be a magical manifestation of his fragile mind.
This good-humoured true story is told in a frank, rhythmic and playful voice. Set in 2010, shortly before Egypt's revolution, it's a backpacking odyssey through tremendous temples, towering pyramids, chaotic cities, small villages, dirty beaches and deceitful strangers... with a backdrop of ancient spiritual gnosis!
A crazy-headed, hassle-driven, sleep-deprived, dope-smoking journey with non-stop tests of trust and temptation...
...A holiday this is not.
CHECK OUT THIS AUDIO CHAPTER from
the road to purification
the road to purification: hustlers, hassles & hash
Written in a frantic blur of inspiration over the first two months of 2015, this collection of contemporary neo-beat poetry is a passionately delivered, in your face dose of pop prose for the digital, conspiratorial, twenty first century world.
Political poems like Kissinger Can Kiss My Ass and Frack Off ride alongside conspiracy themed odes like Illuminate Me Illuminati and Fly Your False Flags. There are beat homages (Cider With Snyder, The New Beat Newbies), mystical musings (Bye Bye Bao Bao, Mystic Prison), poems mimicking and mocking the modern age (#Smiley Face, Googling Goo), as well as tales of timeless hedonism (Legless Pub Crawls, Malbec Green Bottle Neck).
Both comic and tragic, angry and compassionate, this collection of new poems is ultimately Whitewolf's howling for a peaceful revolution. Beginning with rhythmic baby new beats.
new beat newbie
propaganda monkeys - Twenty poems from my twenties: 1996-2006
Propaganda Monkeys: Twenty Poems From My Twenties is a short collection of punch packing prose pieces bursting with youthful vision, confusion and yearning. Amongst its pages, you’ll discover: vivid political anger, reflections on love, scepticism towards the plugged-in Capitalist world, a little bit of no-nonsense nonsense, personal moments of coping with depression, a sprinkle of wry humour, and a contemporary dose of boundary pushing, beat pumping verse, from when author Harry Whitewolf was just a cub.
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two beat newbie
A New Beat Newbie number twobie? Ooby dooby! Yes indeedy, we’re back in the slams of British wry wit verse jams. A lyrical, satirical, unequalled sequel with words like hot treacle. A call to be peaceful. Set to the beats, y’all. Find poems and prose full of politics, lunatics, rhythmic kicks, digital ticks, hedonistic highs and desperate fights, alongside conspiracy facts, plastic bags and modern age mockery, mixed with spoonfuls of sage-full top-notchery. Phew! Stop by, do. Don’t be averse. Sample some unique new wonders of wicked Whitewolf verse!
Including: Postman Pot, Bilderbergers And Fries, 100 Channels Of Crap, Gimme Medication, The Newtopia Newbies, Dig It All Digital, F*** You GCHQ, Tridentity, Yawn Porn, and the rollicking ride of Right On Brighton. So come on, don’t be loopy- read Two Beat Newbie!
By reading ReejecttIIon, it’s likely you’ll discover: colorful short stories, funny flash fiction, hilarious cartoons, riveting reviews, wondrous anagrams and other assorted skits and titbits of under-achieving literary genius.
If you’re lucky, you might come across sci-fi tales about the privatization of words, horror stories about hair and ruminations on indie writing. It’s also possible that you’ll find commentary on the hazards of greedy literary agents and stories about washed up movie directors who receive financial backing from space aliens.
Publisher’s Meekly calls it: “a thought-provoking fable about technological hubris and the hazards of bioengineering.” (*This may or may not be referring to Jurassic Park and not ReejecttIIon.)
Reader’s Indigestion says: “this book quietly stands as one of the most powerful statements of the Civil Rights movement.” (*This may or may not actually refer to To Kill a Mockingbird and not ReejecttIIon.)
But why not read this seriously comical scattergun book and see what you can discover about ReejecttIIon for yourself?
reaD DANIEL CLAUSEN'S FIRST
REEJECTTION BOOK FOR FREE:
reejecttiion - a number two (A collaboration with Daniel Clausen)
From the strange dark side of visionary spiritual conspiracy secrets, this poetic book of enigmas and brand new discoveries is much more than a collection of curious verse concoctions - Matrix Visions is a sneaky glimpse into the hypnotising matrix itself.
You’ll come across cryptic but plain poems like: The Malicious Magicians, Red Snake Rules, The Devil’s In The Detail, Alien Acupuncture and The 11:11. And you can discover hitherto untold secrets in: The Pentagon’s Hidden Half, Dollar Bill Devils And Dogs, The Secret Art History, The QR Code Code, How To Get A Face In Advertising and The Secret Sphinx, with plenty of picture examples along the way.
The red matrix is staring you right in the face. You just haven’t seen it yet.
Swiping, biting, seething, pleading, fresh and funny, Whitewolf’s latest book of verse is a language sandwich filled with shit, shopping, poverty, war, Wi-Fi and wordplay.
Awaken your inner rebel for the modern era, with poems like: Equality For The Poor, You’re So Far Right, Ads, Abs And Apps, P.C. Pussies, Reality And T.V, Puppet Politician and The Google Boogie.
ONE OF READFREE.LY'S
50 BEST INDIE BOOKS OF 2016
RHYME AND REBELLION
INDIE POET - THIRTY POEMS FROM MY THIRTIES: 2006 - 2016
In this short book of previously unpublished verse, indie poet Harry Whitewolf spits out his words with the ferocity of a rampant llama on speed. Poems knocking the establishment and rants mocking modern society are wedged between personal tales of boozing, smoking, loneliness and sex. Delivered with passion, anger, humour, beat and bite, this new collection is a quick sizzle trip through Harry’s dirty thirties.
Go on, give an indie poet a go.
Harry Whitewolf’s hard-hitting, straight-talking, seventh collection of poetry combines topical anti-establishment and anti-fascist themes with anecdotal reminiscing, personal confessions, and verse about immigration, television, drugs, pubs, cigs and gigs, delivered with Whitewolf’s humorous, playful, passionate and distinctive voice.
Unpretentious and powerful poetry for the underbelly of twenty-first century society.
Harry Whitewolf’s straight-talking ninth poetry book takes a satirical, logical, humorous, and opinionated look at the contemporary UK Brexit-led political and cultural landscape, and imagines a world beyond division, where having compassion for one another is more important than flags.
THEY'RE MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG
When Harry and Daniel begin writing a book without a plot, they begin to lose the plot. Even though there isn’t one to begin with.
In the pages of They’re Making It Up As They Go Along, the two authors are literally making it up as they go along. The concept for this experimental book was simple: Harry Whitewolf and Daniel Clausen would start writing a book without having any idea what it was going to be about whatsoever. Each would take it in turn to write a section; a sort of literary version of a drawing consequences game.
You’re sure to enjoy the hilarious and rollicking ride of the writers creating a purely do-it-for-fun and highly imaginative novella that is stuffed full with robots, distant planets, rotten sushi, multi-dimensional travel, philosophical musings, big dollops of comedy, and a dildo that plays Barry White songs.
THE GULAG VILLAGE GREEN
The village green’s bandstand and benches are wrapped in black-and-yellow police tape. Joggers and dog walkers are only allowed out twice a day. Schools are closed down. People wear masks and stay separated every time they leave their homes, while others are locked inside buildings. Curfews are in place. Marshals patrol the streets. Cops break up wedding parties. The government encourages people to snitch on their neighbours. And new draconian laws are introduced at the drop of a hat so the police can control everyone more, while the army is on stand-by and the media attempts to incite a race war. Sounds like the blurb for a bad Hollywood movie, right?
Well, as we all know, it’s actually the reality of 2020.
The virus and the lockdowns are here, during a year of censorship, protests and division, and British poet Harry Whitewolf has never felt so conflicted. You see, he cares deeply about people’s health, but he also cares deeply about human rights; which seem to have died overnight with hardly anyone protesting against it. And Harry vehemently believes in standing up against racism and transphobia, but he also believes in standing up against the calls for censorship and word-control coming from some in the BLM and trans communities. The right and the left are becoming indistinguishable, capitalism and democracy are crumbling to pave the way for a technocratic future, free speech is dying, people are calling for more and more tyrannical laws to be introduced, mandatory vaccinations are on the way, and Harry’s had enough of it all.
There’s a lot of anger amongst the poems and prose of The Gulag Village Green, but there’s also the usual Whitewolf wit, wordplay, and call for peace, amongst a number of other writings on worldly and personal themes.
It’s time to stop dividing, see through the bullshit, and come out on the other side in a better, more caring, and more loving place, before the village green bunting is permanently replaced with barbed wire.
Harry's poetry has appeared in five anthologies: HSTQ: Summer 2017, EZ.P.Z... Issue 2: Bird in Paradise, The Anti-Austerity Anthology; and two "best of" anthologies: Horror Sleaze Trash: Poems and EZPZ Yearly Review - Issue One. Harry also wrote the foreword for punk-poet Andy Carrington's kick-arse book What's Wrong With The Street!
harry's children's books
written under the name of Mr. Wolf
terry - the time travelling tortoise
Terry was not at all interested in becoming a time traveller, but one day, that's exactly what happened...
VOO-SHWIPOP! Like it or not, Terry the tortoise was no longer in his quiet English garden, drinking tea and eating buttered crumpets. Now he was tumbling through time and space, and meeting a very odd assortment of characters along the way; such as the pirates Bee Beard and Broccoli Beard, strange creatures called cogs and dats, a depressed William Shakespeare and a humpless camel.
And when Queen Victoria mistakes Terry for a teapot, it begins to look like he might never get back home again!
Join Terry on this fantastical voyage of silly adventures, and confront conundrums of the space-time continuum face on!
the top secret cheese
Beware! You’ll be able to smell the vile stench of Mr. Pong’s Cheap Cheese Emporium just by reading about it. It’s that smelly. In fact, it’s the stinkiest and most foul-whiffing place in the whole wide world. You have been warned!
However, if you do feel brave enough to step inside the cheese shop and meet the horrible Mr. and Mrs. Pong, not only will you find that they smell just as bad, you’ll also discover a girl called Cauliflower Cheese, a contented mouse, the terrifying Aunty Louder, and a very curious creature who goes by the name of Red Head.
What’s that? You want to know what The Top Secret Cheese is? Well, I can’t tell you that. It is top secret after all.
mr. zumpo's amazing zoo of unusual animals
When Raj and Reya meet a rather strange stranger called Mr. Zumpo, they find themselves visiting his Amazing Zoo of Unusual Animals to see some of the most peculiar and bizarre creatures in the whole wide world, such as a Ping-Pong Popperphant, a Wurly Wurlitzer Whistleroo, a Beatbox-Bunny, a Trombonial Pig-Fish and a Grumpy Bubble-Gum Chawooga.
To answer questions like: “What is a Woc?” “Exactly how smelly is a Super Pooper Stinky Pong Beast?” “How do you find an escaped Invisible Wibble Beast?” and “Is Mr. Zumpo really as friendly as he seems?”, you will have to accompany Raj and Reya to Mr. Zumpo’s Amazing Zoo of Unusual Animals.